One liners

Sometimes I hear phrases throughout the day that make me chuckle out loud. I can't always think of ways to fit them in my stories so I just try to write them down for my own amusement. Here are a few I remember of late:

A large black woman walks into the market, stops in the doorway. She looks around in wonder at all of our quaint products and piles of vegetables. She immediately whips out her phone. I hear this side of her conversation:  "Oh my lawd oh my lawd. You have got ta get yo self down heah. Dey gots everyting but tha kitchen sink up in heah!"  

to add to the charm of this lady she called me "honey child" when I told her she was wrong. That we did have a kitchen sink :)

A hispanic man came in with a pumpkin. I asked him if that would be all. He said "No. I am just going to watch around for a minute"  I think I will say that from now on when someone asks me if I need help in a store. "No. I'm just watching around" 

I have just realized that every blurb I have just told involves a different race of person. oh well. This one is about some japanese ladies. I'm just covering my bases and if I am being politically incorrect I wasn't meaning to be. Afterall, I'm not a politician ....

These two japanese ladies came in.  They wandered around for a few minutes quietly.  Then all of a sudden I heard much oohing and ahhing and jabbering. They finally came up to the counter with their newfound treasures. Japanese Yams. One of the women asked me "And wheh ah japanese yams gwown?"  I have no idea so I shrug my shoulders, smile and say "Japan?"  They women laugh at me like I am a world class comedian. They know I am kidding. I ask my boss where the yams are grown and he tells me they are local. So I say "They are grown here" And I get the same response. Uproarious laughter. I shrug my shoulders and laugh with them. And they say "No. rearry! wheh ah they gwown!"  I repeat. "They are local" But the women just won't believe me! They don't think its possible for Japanese Yams to grow in Tennessee but don't think it possible for the Yams to be from Japan either. It was hilarious. They bought the Yams anyway, despite their questionable origin.

An old woman walked up to me one day and said "Lester knows. And he's gonna get 'em. Sure as I'm standin' here, Lester knows." And that was it. I'm still trying to figure out what that meant. 

more Monday Pant blurbs to come...